Here’s an interesting question from a reader, which may be one that you share too:
“How [do I] impress them instantly, such that they can devote their precious time speaking with me alone, rather than splitting their time amongst those around?”
My response:
Listen to them with your full and undivided attention.
Don’t sell, persuade, advise, talk about yourself, etc.
When you DO talk, ask questions about the other person.
If you really want to impress someone and have them talk with only you, this is all you need to do!
Try it.
Now, here is my question for you:
What will you do with all the information you get from this conversation?
No, I don’t mean to be irritating or annoying! I do however want you to think why you might want to have someone speak with you all evening.
For another take on the same topic (about what NOT to do when trying to impress someone), click here.
Whether you’re talking with someone in person, by phone or by email, there are some principles that are absolutely necessary to establish a genuine connection with a prospective customer.
Without these, your conversation is over before you even get started.
And here is an article from Ari about how to use these principles when selling via email.
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How to Use E-Mail To Connect with a Decison Maker — Without Using a “Sales Pitch”
by Ari Galper
Of all the selling mediums that have been the most abused, email seems to be at the top of the heap.
Because e-mail communication is simply text, void of any real human connection, many people who sell have adopted it as a way of avoiding having to pick up the phone to call someone new.
In fact, e-mail selling has now become part of the traditional “numbers game”. The more e-mails you send out, the better your return might be.
The problem is, you make some sales doing that, but you’ll burn your reputation and lose more opportunity that you even thought possible.
Sending a cold email to a decision maker in an organization is like a one-way electronic cold call.
And, if the email is written using a traditional sales pitch, it puts immediate sales pressure on the receiver (yes, sales pressure can be delivered through email) and the receiver immediately associates the sender with the negative “salesperson” stereotype.
I get these kind of email “pitches” all the time, as I’m sure you do as well.
The good news is, if you can shift your mindset away from making a “pitch”, and use the Unlock The Game Mindset instead, create a dialogue, be gracious and focus on a problem you can help them solve, you’ll find email can be a very profitable selling tool.
One of my clients, who is a sales executive for a software company, sent me an example of an old-school email pitch that he received last week.
I decided to dissect it and reinvent it the Unlock The Game way, pulling concepts directly from the Mastery Program, so that if you don’t have the program yet, you can get a taste of what you’ll learn.
Here’s the “cold introduction” e-mail that arrived in my client’s inbox:
Dear John,
My name is Michael Johnson and I am with XYZ company. We are the leading provider in back-office operations software with many clients such as XXX, YYY, ZZZ.
I’m writing you to see if you or your company would be interested in a demonstration of our software. It would be a brief 15- to 30-minute demonstration that we could do at your convenience.
Our website, dogandponyshow.com, lists many testimonials from customers that describe how we have improved their productivity, as well as complete details about our products and services.
I’ll give you a call later in the week to see if we can set up a time for the demonstration.
Sincerely,
Michael Johnson
Productivity Consultant
XYZ Software
On the surface, it looks innocent enough, but take a moment and ask yourself what your instant reaction would be if it arrived in your e-mail box.
Let’s look at it sentence by sentence:
Dear John,
My name is Michael Johnson, and I am with XYZ company. (Starting a conversation without asking a question can be perceived as an intrusion. Also, starting out with “My” and using “I” immediately focuses the conversation on you, not on your prospect.)
We are the leading provider in back-office operations software with many clients such as XXX, YYY, ZZZ. (This sentence is a mini-presentation designed to show off your client list. The writer is assuming that the prospect is already interested in the sender’s software. He’s also assuming that the prospect has a problem to be solved and that his company’s product can solve it.)
I’m writing you to see if you or your company would be interested in a demonstration of our software. It would be a brief 15- to 30-minute demonstration that we could do at your convenience. (Offering to demonstrate a solution without first determining any problem is likely to set off negative sales alarms.)
Our website, dogandponyshow.com, lists many testimonials from customers that describe how we have improved their productivity, as well as complete details about our products and services. (This paragraph continues the barrage of information, all based on the assumption that the reader is interested. If he isn’t, however, this writer has come across as a typical “salesperson.” He has communicated that he and his company are aggressive and interested only in the sale, rather than in taking the time to build trust and get to know the issues and problems that face potential customers.)
I’ll give you a call later in the week to see if we can set up a time for the demonstration. (This is the usual “assumptive” close used by most traditional salespeople. However, it only reinforces that this e-mail is an obvious attempt to get an appointment so the sender can make a sale, rather than opening communication so the sender can understand the reader’s world.)
Sincerely, (This is the traditional cold and aloof closing.)
Michael Johnson
Productivity Consultant
XYZ Software
My comments (in blue) zero in on the specific wording and phrases that feed the negative sales stereotype and give the impression that the writer cares only about the sale.
The problem is — even if your intentions are honest and sincere, e-mails like this are more likely to burn bridges than to build trust.
My comments show the reasons behind the phrases and why they both reduce potential sales tension and increase the chances of a favorable response.
Dear John,
Not sure if you can help me, but thought you could possibly point me in the right direction. (By starting off from a position of humility rather than with the typical assumptive introduction, and by asking for help, this e-mail gives the reader a chance to either tell the sender that he has reached the right person or to refer him on to someone else.)
Would you happen to know who in your organization would be responsible for diagnosing and solving productivity issues related to your technology infrastructure — specifically, underperforming servers, outdated software upgrades, or out-of-date computer hardware? (Rather than offering solutions, the writer is addressing very some real problems and issues that may exist in the reader’s company. In other words, the e-mail is about the receiver, not the sender. Also, the writer doesn’t mention any demonstration because problems must always come first, and the solutions later.)
I’m with XYZ company, and we specifically help companies solve these types of issues. (This reinforces that the writer’s company solves problems.)
Any help you could provide would be very graciously appreciated. (This statement expresses the warmth of the writer’s gratitude in advance.)
Warmest regards, (The warmth of this closing humanizes the whole communication.)
Michael Johnson
Productivity Consultant
XYZ Software
How do you think you would react if you received this e-mail?
Perhaps you would give a sigh of relief because you wouldn’t be feeling any sales pressure from this stranger you’ve never met.
This example shows that, even though e-mail is basically an impersonal one-way form of communicating, with the Unlock The Game Mindset you can humanize the connection.
When you give prospects a chance to respond to your request for help, you increase the possibilities for two-way communication and trust-building dialogue.
You might want to start reviewing your e-mails to prospects.
To your success,
Ari
Ari Galper is the founder of Unlock The Game™, the only selling program that completely eliminates pressure from the selling process. His Unlock The Game™ Sales Program has helped thousands of entrepenuers and sales professionals worldwide. Visit ww.UnlockTheGame.com to take a Free Test Drive!
Often comments that readers send me reveal underlying issues.
I’d like to share a recent exchange of comments today, because the issue revealed here may be relevant for many of you:
Here is the first comment I got:
“I am a NEW realtor in a new area where I don’t know anyone, I have no friends or family in the area…How am I suppose to build my business through networking?”
A few days later, I followed up to see whether the information I’d sent was useful. She replied as follows:
“Hi Sri, yes I have read through the 5 lessons of Effortless Networking, but I need to go over them again, I’ve been so busy lately…and hopefully will try to do that today… I did’nt really notice any ideas or suggestions that would increase my “network” locally…but I will read through them again, maybe I missed something.
thank you for your help.”
I replied saying that I had actually sent her a separate email with specific answers to her questions.
And in case she hadn’t received it or had misplaced it, I re-sent the same information along with some book recommendations.
I also offered to talk by phone (at no charge), if that would be useful.
The next email I got was this:
“too many e-mails that were not helping me in my specific situation to networking (finding New Clients without having to do cold calls), in a new area where I don’t know anyone, have no family or friends out here…”
Well, I feel bad for this person — because she really wanted some answers and I was willing to help her find them. But we couldn’t connect.
Why am I sharing this story?
So that before you ask anyone for information, you can consider this:
What is your preferred way of getting information? For instance, in writing, verbally, visually?
How best do you absorb information? By reading, by doing, by listening?
For instance, I “absorb” information — like learning how to implement a new marketing strategy, or use a new software tool — by actually trying it out hands-on. Having written instructions is useful, but I don’t really understand what I’ve read until I actually use it.
And when I get stuck, I find that talking about it with a live person (by phone or online chat) is what really helps me. Reading manuals and online help when I can’t figure something out irritates me, and makes the problem worse!
My point is this: when you’re looking for information, or to learn about something new,
Consider how YOU absorb and understand information.
Then, make sure you get the information in THAT format.
Otherwise, you may not be able to use it — even if the information you get is exactly what you want and need.
Many people use business networking as a tool to market their business. And yet, a common challenge seems to be a general discomfort with participating in “networking” activities or events. For instance, here is a recent comment I got from a reader:
Am shy with new people and hate the thoughts of attending anything that may have a networking element to it.With the focus now clearly on the new buzz word of “networking” in todays business arena I feel that my shyness is starting to impact on my performance.
So I asked Bonnie Ross-Parker, CEO and Founder of the Joy of Connecting® to describe their approach to business networking and marketing. Because I think they’ve taken commonly used networking concepts and put them to use in a fresh and engaging way. Read on and tell me what you think — post your comments below.
The Joy of Connecting®: Marketing with Joy
by Bonnie Ross-Parker, CEO and Founder of the Joy of Connecting®
Bonnie Ross-Parker
At a time when the world feels competitive and impersonal and building a business can seem overwhelming and lonely, Bonnie
Ross-Parker, Founder & CEO, and Dawn Billings, President of The Joy of Connecting®, together with their licensees, provide opportunities for women to meet, share and encourage one another.
Women are natural net-workers. They love to inspire and encourage each other. And the Joy of Connecting® monthly gatherings are designed as a tool to aid women in connecting to resources, building relationships and growing their businesses.
Women participate in an arena that is welcoming, nurturing, supportive and respectful of one another in all areas of their personal and professional lives.
The evening begins as a social where over dinner women have time to settle in, get to know one another and relax. Eventually we convene for the more formal part of the evening. After a brief introduction and overview, we begin our circle of sharing…We close out with testimonials and announcements. Once our get together is formally over, most women stay to continue dialoguing, make appoints and “connect” with women who attended. Everyone receives a roster so that connections can continue beyond the evening.
The Joy of Connecting® gatherings are designed to meet the needs of female entrepreneurs, business owners and professional women. And this approach is fast becoming a role model for the best way women can network collaboratively and comfortably.
Taking place in intimate settings, participants feel accepted, listened to and encouraged as they share with each other their passions, dreams and desires for their future.
Women take turns having 3 minutes to tell about themselves, talk about their business and ask for what they need. For some women, they are looking for an opportunity. We have participants who have just moved into the area and eager to meet other like minded women. Collectively we are business owners, entrepreneurs and professional women who recognize the strength of open sharing.
As we move around the circle and stories unfold, each participant is drawn to the person sharing, to their story and to their needs.
When The Joy of Connecting® was originally launched it existed as the only location in suburban Atlanta. Since its beginning, participants have requested that the concept be expanded so other women in other communities could experience the same value. In January, 2006 there existed 15 Greater Atlanta, Georgia locations when Dawn and Bonnie began the process of creating The Joy of Connecting® as a national licensed program. Currently there are 48 licensees in 9 states who each month bring together like minded women eager to build their business while helping others expand theirs.
Licenses are available wherever one doesn’t currently exist.
The best way to find out about this unique marketing tool is to visit on line at: www.TheJOYofConnecting.com. There are articles, written and audio testimonials and licensee stories/profiles to enjoy.
If you’re interested in information about becoming a Joy of Connecting Licensee, simply click here to fill out an online application. List EffortlessNetworking.com as the referral.
If you have questions, Bonnie can be reached in Atlanta at: 1-877-411-6611.
Women have choices when networking. They can participate at an existing networking event or be a player at their own. The Joy of Connecting offers both!
book, I wrote about how to connect with prospects at business mixers or similar events. 
