Effortless Networking

“[My biggest networking challenge is] starting conversations with all levels of people, from Ministers, Chief Executives down.”

I recently had a conversation with someone about exactly this topic!

She said she felt intimidated talking with people more knowledgeable than her.

But in social situations, she didn’t have a problem starting conversations with people.

“What’s the difference?” I asked.

It turns out that in social contexts, this person starts talking with people about topics that are of interest to her.

In this case, it doesn’t matter if the other person is more knowledgeable about it or not. In fact, more knowledgeable is probably better, since she is curious about the topic and wants to know more!

In business contexts, she assumes that the topic of conversation must be business related.

And often, she is among people who are specialists or experts in their field. Given her assumption that she must talk about work-related stuff, she feels tongue-tied.

After all, what could she possibly say to a lawyer about law that won’t make her look and feel inadequate?

So I asked her, “How did you come up with this assumption that you should only talk about business related stuff in business contexts? And is it valid?”

She looked at me for a while. Then she sat back, looking relieved!

If starting conversations with people is a challenge for you, what assumptions are you making about such conversations?

More on this topic is covered in module 2 of the Effortless Networking home-study program. To find out how to get a complimentary copy of this program, click here.

“Experts” may tell you there’s a right way to network.

I disagree.

Just as in any other area of life, one size does not fit all. In fact, if you network in a way that doesn’t suit your personality, it won’t work.

For example, you may plan to regularly meet with someone then find yourself constantly canceling or rescheduling your appointments.

Or you may decide to attend business mixers and realize that you’re too self-conscious to connect with people there.

On the other hand, when you find a networking approach that truly fits with who you are, you’ll achieve your networking goals much more easily.

Further, when your networking goal is aligned with your networking approach, you’ll start getting remarkable results seemingly effortlessly.

So how do you do this?

1. Take a moment to notice how you naturally interact with people.

   You may find, for example, that you use email to stay connected with most people, but there are a few key people that you regularly talk to over the phone.

   Or that you enjoy throwing parties, where you can introduce new friends to old friends.

   Being aware of your personality and your preferences will help you to understand what networking environments and approaches are best for you.

2. Think about your networking objective.

   Do you want to generate more visibility for your business? Do you want to find joint venture opportunities? Do you want business leads?

   Networking to find a joint venture opportunity is very different from networking to get potential customers for your business.

   The techniques may be the same, but the approach, venue and conversations can be very different.

3. Consider different networking approaches

   For instance, you can network through organizations — such as, professional associations, Chamber of Commerce mixers, Leads groups, online networking forums, etc.

   Or you can schedule one-on-one meetings with specific people, whether in person, on the phone or online.

   Each has its pros and cons.

   And each serves a particular need very well.

   For instance, if you want to meet a lot of people in a particular industry quickly, going to an event sponsored by that professional association would be ideal. On the other hand, if you want to have an in-depth conversation about something, a private meeting would be better.

Once you have a sense of these 3 factors, you can mix and match them for best results.

For example, if you’re a business owner who prefers interacting with people one-on-one, who wants to generate more business through networking, and has a very busy schedule and limited free time, you might do the following:

• Find an appropriate event to attend so you can quickly meet a large number of people who may be good referral sources for you.
• Schedule follow-up meetings with only those who show an interest in partnering with you — and based on your mutual availability, of course.
• Use these meetings to define and build sound working relationships with each other.

This allows you to make the most of your limited time, leverage your personal preference, and meet your business networking goals.

I’d love to hear about how you’d combine these to fit your needs. So please share your comments below…

Here’s a comment I got from a reader last week:

“[My biggest challenge is] getting clientel.”

And interestingly, in the past few weeks, I have done business with at least 6 small businesses — all of whom said that they got the bulk of their business easily — through “word-of-mouth”.

In other words, most of their clients are referred to them by past clients.

Immediately I asked them whether I could interview them, so I could find out their story and the secret of their success!

Although they were interested, no one has followed through yet.

Could it be because they have too much business already and don’t want any more publicity? Perhaps they’re too busy with their clients and don’t have the time. Or maybe they don’t want to share their secret!

Well, I don’t really know.

So let me share the story of my experience as their customer instead:

We are in the process of buying a house. So we need a lot of different kinds of services to help with the home-buying process: a home inspection company, a lead inspector, a landscape designer, a window replacement specialist, a settlement company, and so on.

We found out about each of these services from our friends and colleagues (i.e. through word-of-mouth networking).

• When we asked people for recommendations for these services, we obviously asked people who had used that particular service themselves.
• So each service was referred to us by a past client, who was very happy with their work (and often, happy with the price as well).

Well, we’ve been very happy with each of these businesses, and would gladly recommend them to anyone who asks for our opinion.

By the way, you’ll be interested to know that a couple of times we were told NOT to hire certain companies. Clearly, these were dissatisfied clients!

The point of this story? Well, there are two questions to ponder, actually:

1. Are your clients or customers satisfied with your work? How can you tell?
2. Do they recommend you and your business to their friends and colleagues? What (if anything) can you do to encourage this?

Here’s an interesting question from a reader, which may be one that you share too:

“How [do I] impress them instantly, such that they can devote their precious time speaking with me alone, rather than splitting their time amongst those around?”

My response:

Listen to them with your full and undivided attention.

Don’t sell, persuade, advise, talk about yourself, etc.

When you DO talk, ask questions about the other person.

If you really want to impress someone and have them talk with only you, this is all you need to do!

Try it.

Now, here is my question for you:

What will you do with all the information you get from this conversation?

No, I don’t mean to be irritating or annoying! I do however want you to think why you might want to have someone speak with you all evening.

For another take on the same topic (about what NOT to do when trying to impress someone), click here.