Time - Does it manage you?
“Not having the time to network” is a common challenge that has come up several times in the past.
However, here´s a comment I got recently that goes beyond networking — into business and life in general:
[My biggest challenge is] keeping all the parts of my life in balance.
I prioritize my calendar. I schedule my activities that need to get done. Yet, I consistently never get to one activity that is necessary. I struggle accomplishing all the things I prioritize in my day.
Time simply runs out!”
Let me start with a story, to provide a context for the solution I offer below:
A very smart and ambitious man once hired me to help him achieve his professional goals, while also making time for his family and friends.
He said he had no time or energy to work towards his ambitions. And his personal life had more or less ceased to exist.
As we talked, I discovered that he was working practically round the clock. He had conference calls late into the night with people in other time zones; he had early morning meetings with people in his office; and in between he had “regular” work to do. I found out that he had little time to sleep, let alone spend time with his family and friends.
Not only was he exhausted, physically and otherwise, all aspects of his life were suffering.
He realized that his current lifestyle and work habits were unsustainable, but didn’t know if it was even possible to change anything given the realities of his work.
So when he asked me half-jokingly if I leased out my peaceful mind, I told him I would help him cultivate his own.
And that became the focus of our work, which cleared the way for him to realize his ambitions.
What does this have to do with time management?
Well, when people talk about time management, most people want to figure out how to squeeze in as much as possible within the time that that have.
The result of this kind of time management rarely results in a sense of accomplishment or peace of mind.
More often, it leads to “fragmentation” (i.e. doing a bit of this and a bit of that and therefore not making any real progress on any front), stress (because no real progress is happening in spite of all the effort and activity) and exhaustion (from a jam-packed schedule).
What´s the alternative? Well, how about managing yourself, instead of managing time?
That´s what I helped my client do.
And once he actually followed through on the “homework” I gave him, he said that he was able to recognize and acknowledge “the depth of his feelings and get things out of his head”. As a result, he felt “less fragile” and “more focused”. As he put it,
“I can’t change things around; [instead] I have to find my way around, and going forward manage myself and maintain a constant lookout [for new opportunities]”.
And yes, he did get that big promotion he wanted as well.
If you want to experience similar results, here´s an exercise for you.
STEP 1 — Do the following everyday for one week:
- At the beginning of each day, think about your intentions for the day. I don’t mean your “to do” list, but rather, how do you want the day to turn out? Also, how do you feel about the day (e.g. optimistic, worried, cheerful, sad, etc.)? What opportunities and/or obstacles do you see?
- At the end of each day, think about how the day actually turned out. What did you do during that day, and how did you choose these actions? How do these choices relate to your intentions for the day?
STEP 2 — At the end of the week, reflect back on your observations during the week.
- What patterns do you notice?
- What does it say about your intentions, priorities and choices?
- How will you use this information?
Do this exercise seriously and you will get results. I guarantee.
So here´s the funny part of the story about my client.
I had written about this client´s experience in another article. When he read that article, he recognized himself in the description. Here´s what he emailed me:
“Your articles are brief, crisp and genuinely thought-provoking. The archives of articles are useful.
I really smiled and then actually laughed out aloud when I read the Nov 2004 article. It sounded so familiar to me!
While we were working together, I looked forward to our interactive sessions during a time that was difficult for me both personally and professionally. You were a great help in listening to me and guiding me to identify and focus on the more urgent and important concerns. I was then reacting to so much noise around me, that I wasn’t doing your recommended homework effectively.
Now, I am able to make the time to deal with situations that concern me the most. After a lot of introspection, I have come to believe, that one’s peace of mind is a very important ingredient to one’s well-being: health, success etc.
It is in quiet and silence now, that I am actually internalizing and putting to practice the many things you were trying to coach me on. [Old] problems have moved on, new problems have firmed up, and I have thrown out some problems (I just learnt to live with them).
I believe that I have discovered the internal peace that I was previously oblivious to.”
I called him after I read his email, and we laughed about this together. He told me that his professional life was still going well, and he was enjoying his time with his family and friends. He sounded relaxed, content and at peace with himself — which is exactly what he´d wanted.
If you want a comprehensive and permanent solution like my client, let´s talk.
Click here to schedule an appointment. (Yes, this is free.) You can give me more information about your situation, so we can explore options that fit your budget. (No, not everything is free!)
