Do you feel like you’re “interrupting” or “intruding” when you network?
A client of mine felt this way. And of course, it affected her ability to network effectively.
Interestingly, she had no problem networking with people as long as it was in person. When she met people she hadn’t seen in a while, she didn’t hesitate to go up and say hi, ask how they were, find out what new project they’re working on.
However, she could not network — contact people or even keep in touch with them — by phone or email.
“Why?” I asked her. “What’s the difference?”
“Well, if I call someone on the phone, they may be annoyed with me for interrupting them. If I contacted them by email, they may think I was too intrusive.”
As we explored how she came to these conclusions, we discovered two things:
- Since she preferred in-person conversations, she assumed that other people did too.
- Since she couldn’t see the other person’s expressions when talking on the phone or connecting by email, she assumed the worst – that her calls or emails were being perceived as intrusions and interruptions.
Although these people often seemed happy to hear from her when she called or emailed, she discounted this fact by saying they were just being polite — because in her mind, her assumptions had become “facts”.
So if you feel like you’re interrupting or intruding when you talk to people, check out your assumptions.
- Are they valid?
- How do you know?
FYI, more details on this topic can be found in module 2 of the Effortless Networking self-coaching program.
Hi Sri –
A common but a rebuttable PRE-sumption.
So many have ‘learned’ something and then never cross-check it with another’s reality. Often, we’re so egocentric that we don’t realize that, as Pogo (comicstip character) once said, “We has met the enemy and they is US!”
In my work I call these established beliefs ‘HEAD TRASH’ for a good reason. They’re ‘junk’ but often we don’t know it.
Unfortunately, until we become aware of these beliefs — and their impact on our behavior — we’re at their mercy.
Mindful marketing . . . or, in this case, networking . . . is what the really great people — like you do and teach us to do as well.
Keep up the good work!
Bill
One can not assume how someone else might be receptive to being contacted, until you do so.