Effortless Networking

… I would get over my fear of not wanting to waste other people’s time, and ask them for their help

… I’d speak in front of large groups of people and tell them what I do (because I love what I do!)

… I would promote myself and my business without feeling self-conscious

You can add to this list what you would do, if you only had the confidence.

And if you’ve ever caught yourself saying something like this, here is my question for you: How do you know that you’re “lacking confidence”? How did you come to this conclusion — based on what?

Here’s what I mean:

At a conference I attended a while ago, the speaker at one of the sessions paused to see if the audience had any questions.

One woman raised her hand. She started by saying that since her heart was thumping hard, it meant that she had something important to say. So she’d better stand up and say it.

I was stunned.

I didn’t hear much of what she said, because I was too busy processing the implication of her opening remarks.

Here’s what I was thinking:

All these years, when my heart started thumping during similar situations, I had interpreted this as being a sign of nervousness, fear, anxiety — in other words, lack of confidence.

So unlike this woman, I often didn’t speak up when this happened because I was sure that I was too afraid or nervous to speak clearly.

And at those times when I did speak, I was so focused on my thumping heart and related discomfort, that I couldn’t pay much attention to what I was saying. As a result, I ended up doing exactly what I was afraid I’d do — not speak clearly or coherently.

So I concluded that I just didn’t have the confidence to speak in front of large groups, or start conversations with people I didn’t know.

However, hearing this woman’s comment I wondered:

• What if my thumping heart is an indication something else?
• Have I been misinterpreting this as “lack of confidence” all these years?
• Is it possible that I don’t lack confidence after all, and have been holding myself back unnecessarily?

My point is this: very often our “lack of confidence” is a result of how we interpret a particular situation.

So gaining confidence then is a matter of re-interpreting the same situation from a different perspective.

Talking about confidence, perspectives and interpretations, here is our 3-year old son Robi competing with 4- and 5-year old kids. You don’t see these other kids in this photo, because Robi came last at this race. But he didn’t care. In fact, he had a great time! So is Robi confident or clueless? What’s your interpretation?

For more information about simple ways to boost your confidence, overcome your self-consciousness or shyness, check out the Effortless Networking self-coaching program.

In the meantime, apply this concept the next time you feel insecure — and see what happens…

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 25th, 2007 at 12:07 am and is filed under Building Confidence. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.