Effortless Networking

… I would get over my fear of not wanting to waste other people’s time, and ask them for their help

… I’d speak in front of large groups of people and tell them what I do (because I love what I do!)

… I would promote myself and my business without feeling self-conscious

You can add to this list what you would do, if you only had the confidence.

And if you’ve ever caught yourself saying something like this, here is my question for you: How do you know that you’re “lacking confidence”? How did you come to this conclusion — based on what?

Here’s what I mean:

At a conference I attended a while ago, the speaker at one of the sessions paused to see if the audience had any questions.

One woman raised her hand. She started by saying that since her heart was thumping hard, it meant that she had something important to say. So she’d better stand up and say it.

I was stunned.

I didn’t hear much of what she said, because I was too busy processing the implication of her opening remarks.

Here’s what I was thinking:

All these years, when my heart started thumping during similar situations, I had interpreted this as being a sign of nervousness, fear, anxiety — in other words, lack of confidence.

So unlike this woman, I often didn’t speak up when this happened because I was sure that I was too afraid or nervous to speak clearly.

And at those times when I did speak, I was so focused on my thumping heart and related discomfort, that I couldn’t pay much attention to what I was saying. As a result, I ended up doing exactly what I was afraid I’d do — not speak clearly or coherently.

So I concluded that I just didn’t have the confidence to speak in front of large groups, or start conversations with people I didn’t know.

However, hearing this woman’s comment I wondered:

• What if my thumping heart is an indication something else?
• Have I been misinterpreting this as “lack of confidence” all these years?
• Is it possible that I don’t lack confidence after all, and have been holding myself back unnecessarily?

My point is this: very often our “lack of confidence” is a result of how we interpret a particular situation.

So gaining confidence then is a matter of re-interpreting the same situation from a different perspective.

Talking about confidence, perspectives and interpretations, here is our 3-year old son Robi competing with 4- and 5-year old kids. You don’t see these other kids in this photo, because Robi came last at this race. But he didn’t care. In fact, he had a great time! So is Robi confident or clueless? What’s your interpretation?

For more information about simple ways to boost your confidence, overcome your self-consciousness or shyness, click here.

In the meantime, apply this concept the next time you feel insecure — and see what happens…

Networking is not the same as prospecting.

Generating new business through networking is like taking the scenic route to your destination. It takes longer, but the journey is richer — you get much more than just leads from this process.

Generating new business through prospecting is like taking the highway. You get to your destination quickly, however you don’t get much else out of the journey.

To generate a lot of qualified leads within a short time, consider “prospecting”. To do so with minimal effort, consider prospecting online.

I “prospect” online. Sitting in my tiny hometown I generate qualified leads everyday without leaving my house.

Where did I get my education on this subject? Click here to find out.

There are many ways to generate new business. “Business networking” is just one way. Always use more than one approach for best results.

Stuart Crawford from The Canadian Small Business Show interviewed me this week.

Click here to listen to it.

If you’re based in Canada, click here to check out the Canadian Small Business Show’s website. It has been designed for small businesses in Canada to come together to share ideas, strategies, and most importantly, become alliances and friends.

Here are a couple of comments I got recently:

“[How do I] bring a conversation in a social situation around to a discussion of the service I offer?”

“I don’t know what to say. I want to meet people, but am often at a loss to get the conversation started or keep it going.”

So how do you start a conversation that’s useful to you and the other person? Or re-direct a meandering one?

You really only need 2 things:

1. Know what would be useful for you.

   In other words, what would make a conversation worthwhile? What’s of interest to you?

2. Listen for opportunities and “openings” in your conversation, to take it in the direction you want.

Of course, the topic can vary from day to day, from context to context, and from person to person. But if you have a sense of what you want to get out any given conversation, or what would make one interesting, you can direct or re-direct its flow.

For example, if you’re talking someone who mentions that she suffers from hay fever, and you sell air purification systems, that’s an opportunity.

A conversation about the product you sell, with someone who may benefit from it, could certainly be a worthwhile conversation for both of you.

When you ask this person whether she has looked into air purification systems, and she says “No, what’s that?” or “Yes, but I’m not interested” or “I tried one and it didn’t work” — these are all “openings” for you.

You can use any of these responses to take the conversation in the direction of your product offering — although the path to it would be different.

In other words, in one case you might mention your product right away, in another case you might find out more about her experience with such systems and why she’s averse to using them, and so on.

Are you surprised at the simplicity? Sorry if you expected to be “dazzled”, but sometimes “simple” is most effective!

Try it out yourself.

More on this topic is covered in the Effortless Networking self-study guide (module 3).

All the best,
– Sri