Effortless Networking

People often confuse or fuse “I don’t know how to network” with “I don’t know where to start”.

For instance, a friend of mine — a seasoned business professional — is considering starting his own business. The last time we spoke, he exclaimed: “I don’t know how to network! Where do I start?”

I was surprised.

As we talked, I realized that he did know how to network. In fact, he did it all the time!

What he didn’t know was what he wanted.

Since he was in the very early stages of starting his business, he was still formulating many of his questions.

For example, he knew that he wanted to meet other small business owners in the community. But he didn’t know what questions to ask them and what to listen for. He felt stuck because he didn’t know what he didn’t know.

However, once he figured out his questions, he had no trouble finding people to get his answers. He was very comfortable doing this.

So, what he was grappling with was not “how to network” but rather “where to start”.

These are two different questions.

The “where to start” question can be easily solved by networking to get information — otherwise known as “informational interviewing”.

(No, informational interviewing is not just for recent college grads! In fact, it can be a very powerful tool for seasoned professionals.)

Our discussion of how to use informational interviewing to accomplish his goal turned out to be a very useful conversation for my friend.

Separating “how do I network?” and “what do I start?” made him feel less overwhelmed and paralyzed. As a result, he was able to proceed confidently towards his business goal.

By the way, the information I shared with my friend about this topic is covered in detail in the “Expert Networker” tutorial.

In it, you will learn both the science (what to do) and the art (how to do it) of informational interviewing, as well as how to use it in real live situations.

Till next week,
– Sri

From time to time, many of us have difficulty remembering names and other details about people we’ve just met — at networking events or elsewhere.

I’ve been blessed with very good memory, and sometimes I too forget names of people a few seconds after we’ve been introduced. How embarrassing!

A common suggestion is that you repeat the person’s name many times so you remember it.

However, I have found that this technique doesn’t always work.

Do you know why this is?

Because, while my mouth is talking, my mind is elsewhere. So the name that I’ve just repeated 17 times never really registered!

If you often have difficulty recalling someone’s name seconds after you hear it, don’t despair — it’s not because your memory is bad.

It’s probably because your mind was elsewhere. You were probably spacing out, or rehearsing what to say next, or wondering how to make a good impression, or something along these lines.

What’s the solution, then?

Simple really — just pay attention. In other words, stay present and truly participate in the conversation.

We remember things that are important and interesting to us — no matter how trivial.

So when you’re able to stay present, you give yourself a chance to really listen. And when you listen without getting distracted, you retain what’s important and relevant for you without even trying.

Check it out, and I think you’ll find that this statement to be true in your life as well.

And how do you stay present and focused?

Just practice.

Practice bringing yourself back to the conversation every time you drift away.

Simple ways to practice staying focused during conversations is covered in module 3 of the Effortless Networking home-study program.

A reader commented once that “being authentic” was her biggest challenge in business networking.

Here is my response:

• When you’re not authentic, who are you?
• What specifically prevents you from being authentic?
• In situations when you are authentic, what allows you to be this way?

If you choose to truly engage in these questions for yourself, here are my follow up questions for you:

1. What did you learn from answering these questions?
2. How will you use this information?

Till next week,
– Sri