Archive for September, 2006

Is making “small talk” a challenge for you?

Sunday, September 24th, 2006

When it comes to business networking, I find that people are often encouraged to make “small talk”.

And I’ve always wondered, “Why?”

Perhaps people are encouraged to make small talk so they do something other than hang around by themselves at networking events.

Perhaps the purpose of small talk is to find out more about another person, so you can find points of common interest — and ideally, common business interests.

Or perhaps it is used by people who feel awkward to talk about their own business, ease into the conversation in another way.

Or perhaps it’s something else.

In any case, it seems to me that making small talk is a method or technique that people use to get to some goal.

And when a technique — any technique — doesn’t work for you, don’t use it!

Find a method that does.

So why do you want to (or feel that you have to) make small talk?

What do you think it’ll help you accomplish?

What is another way you can accomplish the same thing?

For example:

If you’re making small talk (or trying to do so without much success) in order to find out something in common between you and another person, just be curious and ask questions.

And ask questions on topics that you care about.

This includes topics you don’t know about, but about which you are genuinely interested or curious. Such as, what does someone’s job as XYZ entail; what exactly do they do? Or how did someone’s interest in a particular hobby start?

You don’t need to talk about the weather, if that’s not something that you’re interested in!

If you start a conversation on a topic that interests you, it rarely feels like a challenge.

And what’s more, you’re more likely to find points of common interest more easily — which, in this example, was the original goal.

So what do you want to accomplish through small talk? What is another way you can accomplish the same thing?

Go ahead. Try it.

And let me know how it went.
– Sri

Posted in Improving Effectiveness, Networking Conversations | 2 Comments »

Reconnecting with past contacts

Sunday, September 17th, 2006

Do you believe in coincidences? Well, as I was writing this article, I got an email from past colleague.

The last time we “talked” was by email 2 years ago. And yet, when I got her email today, I was delighted to hear from her (even though she was writing to ask me for something).

We lose touch with people all the time — in our professional lives and personal lives — for various reasons.

For example, this year, with the birth of our second baby, followed by our relocation across the country, along with my involvement in completing my book, I haven’t been able to stay in touch with many people. After all, there’s only so much time in the day!

And when it comes time to reconnect, many people feel awkward about it. And many don’t reconnect just because of that sense of awkwardness.

However, reconnecting can be delightful — just like I was delighted to hear from my colleague earlier today.

And just like my past contacts are happy to hear from me, as I reach out to reconnect with them, now that things are beginning to get back to “normal”.

What allows people to reconnect with each other comfortably, even after long periods of silence?

  • First, keeping in touch is a two-way street. If I’ve lost touch with someone, it means that *neither* of us have initiated contact with the other. In other words, it’s not just *one* person’s responsibility to keep in touch. So chances are, when I do initiate contact, the other person will be happy to hear from me — especially, if we had a good relationship in the past.

    Of course, if we didn’t have a relationship in the past, it’s a different story — and a topic for a future article.

  • Second, whenever an opportunity arises, use it to reconnect. For instance, I’ll use occasions like someone’s birthday, or some event in my life (e.g. my farewell party) to reconnect. And when I do get in touch, I’ll usually bring the person up to date with what’s been going on with me (if they don’t know already), so they have a sense of why I haven’t kept in touch.

    Since most people are busy themselves, they usually understand and forgive the lapse.

    Again, the important thing to notice is that these are people with whom I had already built a relationship in the past. So I know their birthdays, and have an interest in their lives, as they do in mine.

So reconnecting with someone after a long time, even if you’re doing so because you want something from the other person, can be completely free of any awkwardness, if

  1. You have already invested the time earlier to build a relationship that can survive periods of little or no contact.

  2. Both people in the relationship get something from keeping it alive, and therefore both people take responsibility to do so.

Check it out — I think you’ll find examples of these kinds of relationships in your own life.

Business relationships are no different.

More on how to cultivate professional relationships like these is in module 3 of the Effortless Networking home-study program.

And if you like templates, The Referral of a Lifetime by Tim Templeton provides a sample letter that you can use to reconnect with past contacts.

Posted in Building Confidence, Networking Conversations | No Comments »

Better results. Less time and effort.

Friday, September 8th, 2006

In the “Effortless Networking” book, you will learn how to:

  • Start conversations with anyone, anywhere — without memorizing any scripts
  • Easily get other people to follow up with you
  • Know exactly what to say and what questions to ask
  • Recognize when to stop talking
  • Be confident (not fake it!) in any networking situation
  • And much more…

Why is this book any different from the others?

  1. Because it’s based on “everyday wisdom” — things that you already do everyday in your personal life without thinking twice.

  2. Because it shows you how to do these same things consciously in your professional life, for maximum benefit.

  3. Because it’s filled with small, simple yet highly effective action steps you can take everyday for BIG impact.

Order your copy, through Amazon.com today, or order from this Web site at 50% off:


Enjoy!

Posted in General | 1 Comment »

Recommendations and referrals

Sunday, September 3rd, 2006

Here’s a story about everyday networking, and how effective it can be — for both the business and the customer/client.

When we relocated recently, we decided to sell our old car instead of transporting it cross country, and buy another one once we arrived at our destination.

Since we were new in town, we asked people at my husband’s workplace for their recommendations for car dealers. We got 3 names. We visited them all, and settled on a car we liked.

As we were getting ready to buy the car, we ran into a little snag: we needed to have car insurance in the state of Ohio, before we could drive the car home.

We knew we could transfer our insurance from California to Ohio, so we hadn’t worried about this detail too much.

However, as it turned out, we bought this car on a Saturday. And while the California insurance office was open, the Ohio branch was not! So we could not do the transfer that day. We had to wait until Monday.

With everything else we had to do, I didn’t want to wait. I wanted this “task” to be completed and off my “to do” list!

So I asked our car salesman if he could recommend an insurance company.

He said he liked his own insurance agent and could call them to find out if they were open.

They were. And they got our business.

Well, 3 things occurred to me, as I thought about this experience:

  1. The insurance agent made a sale on a Saturday morning, without any effort on his part.

    Well, actually, the effort was invested earlier — when he was serving and taking care of his client (our car salesman).

    So when we asked for a recommendation, it was a “no-brainer” for our car salesman to give us his name.

  2. Our car dealership seems to make a lot of sales. As I drive around these days, it seems that every other car on the road is from that dealership.

    How many people go to that dealership in the first place, because a trusted friend or colleague recommended it to them?

    Related to this, it occured to me that we had asked several people for recommendations for car dealerships, but only 3 responded with names.

    Why didn’t the others? Is it because they don’t have cars, or is it because they didn’t have an out-of-the-ordinary experience with the dealership they went to?

  3. There are “natural” partnership opportunities among certain businesses.

    For instance, when you buy a car in the U.S., most states require you to have car insurance.

    When you buy a house, you usually need to work with a real estate lawyer, a home inspector, and a financial institution. Later on, you may also need to find other service providers for your new house, such as plumber, electrician, etc.

    As I did in the car anecdote, I remembered that when I bought my house, I kept asking my realtor for recommendations for all of these service providers.

    How many small business owners take advantage of this phenomenon?

People ask for recommendations for a wide range of products and services everyday, as a normal part of daily life.

And their friends and colleagues recommend their favorite ones to them when asked. (This, of course, is called a “referral” by the business that sells that particular product or service!)

Is your business benefitting from this kind of networking that happens everyday and all the time?

If not, why do you suppose this is?

If yes, are you doing anything in particular to encourage people to recommend you or your business? Please share your comments and experience, using the form below, so others can be inspired by you!

Till next week,
– Sri

Posted in Getting Results, Networking Conversations | No Comments »