Effortless Networking

I don’t collect business cards (or “connections” online), just for the sake of it. Neither do I accept every invitation I get to join a network, online or offline.

I’m selective – I prefer a deeper working relationship with a small group of people.

Primarily because I have limited time and energy, and I want to be sure that I make the best use of my resources.

And I want to be sure that I can take care of the relationships I do build.

So when people approach me, especially online, wanting to network with me, the first thing I ask is “Why?” (in a nicer way, of course!)

Many don’t even get back to me — so that takes care of that!

For those who do respond, we decide together if there’s a fit. If not, we part ways — for the time being anyway.

For example, someone wanted to network with me because he thought I could help him find new prospects. He was looking for contacts in a specific industry and within a particular geographical area.

I didn’t think I was the best fit for what he wanted, and I told him why.

I offered to introduce him to another person who I thought was better suited for what he wanted. He accepted my offer. I made the introduction. And we were done.

So if you find yourself getting overwhelmed, trying to keep up with all the requests you get from people wanting to network with you, first ask “why”.

If they aren’t willing or able to explain, that’s a “red flag”.

In this case, decide with care how you want to proceed.

Comments? I’d love to hear them! Please submit them below.

Till next week,
– Sri

As I said in my previous article on “online networking”, I do have more thoughts on this topic!

Two different comments from two different people got me thinking about networking, and online networking in particular, from a perspective that hadn’t occurred to me before.

One comment was about keeping up and responding to all the emails from various people who want to network with you. (And I’ll talk about this topic in next week’s article.)

The other comment was about how some people don’t seem to want to build an online network (such as LinkedIn or openBC).

For instance, there are people who either decline invitations to join an existing network, or they don’t invite new people to connect with them online, or both.

My immediate reaction to the second comment was that one size doesn’t fit all.

Perhaps these people aren’t “online” people. Perhaps they prefer in-person contact.

Then another thought occurred to me: perhaps these people prefer “depth” over “breadth”.

What I mean is this: networks can be built in different ways.

For instance, you might prefer to build a large list of contacts first. And then, on an as-needed basis, get to know and build deeper relationships with different people within that list.

Alternatively, you might want to build deep relationships with a small group of people first. And then, on an as-needed basis, use their help to find new contacts to expand your network.

Online networking platforms allow both approaches to work just as well.

So how you respond to people who want to join your online network depends on whether you prefer to start “deep” or “wide”.

However, given the online profiles of member, search capabilities, and other such features and tools, I wonder if online networking encourages a “breadth-first” approach?

What do you think? Please share your comments below.
– Sri

I’m relocating cross country in a couple of weeks (from California to Ohio), so it seems appropriate to write about how to quickly get established in a new area. (And that’s our son in the photo, “helping out”.) For the first 15 years of my professional life, I lived and worked in the same town. Then, I moved every year for 3 years in a row!

Disruptive as it was, I learned a great deal from that experience.

One of the things I learned was how to quickly establish myself, professionally and otherwise, in a new location and community.

Although I figured it out incrementally, through trial and error, it has now become a very simple formula.

And of course, this is what I’ll use when I relocate this time.

So here is my 3 step “formula”:

1. Figure out what would make you feel “grounded” or established.

   For me this means getting to know at least a couple of people in the local business community. Or joining at least one group in which I might get a sense of “belonging” right away.

   This makes me feel “grounded” because I know that I can meet other people through them.

   So I usually look up the local Chamber of Commerce, search for associations for women business owners, a local chapter of my professional association, and so on.

   From a personal perspective, I like to know whether there’s a place nearby to go dance Argentine Tango!

   I also look for kid-related stuff — playgroups, childrens activities and programs, childcare options, etc.

   For me, just *knowing* that these options exist in my new location is comforting. So I search for all this before the move. In fact, I’ve already done this for my upcoming move!

2. Find and engage in at least one of these things.

   For me this means that once I arrive at my new location, I start checking out and showing up at each of these organizations or events.

   The first time I did this, I thought I’d feel awkward or uncomfortable showing up alone.

   Well, sometimes I did and sometimes I didn’t.

   Looking back, I realized that whenever I was genuinely curious, I NEVER felt uncomfortable or awkward.

   I had so many questions and was so focused on finding out the answers to my questions, there was no time to feel awkward!

   So when you start checking out your new community, take your questions with you and show up with genuine curiousity. It will serve you well on many levels.

3. Make at least one “friend”, and build your new community from there.

   As soon as I meet someone whom I “click” with, I get his or her contact information and ask if we can talk again soon.

   From this person, I find out more about the organization or event where we met, other people in the community, specific information or regulations about running a business in that town, and any other questions that pop into my head…

   FYI, I go into more details on this in module 3 of the Effortless Networking home-study program.

   Anyway, during our conversation, based on the kinds of questions I ask or the interest that I express, it becomes quite apparent to the person I’m talking with, whom else in the community or organization I should meet.

   And my new “friend” usually makes these introductions, sometimes without my even asking for it.

   So I get to meet other people, and start building my new community, through this one person (very effortlessly, you might say).

The best part is that this person usually does end up becoming a true friend. I’m still in touch with my first friends from all the different places where I’ve lived.

Well, that’s it for today. I’ll keep you posted regarding the results of my networking efforts in my new hometown!

Till next week,
– Sri