Archive for April, 2006

Knowing what to say

Sunday, April 30th, 2006

Here’s a guestion I got from someone recently:

“I’m able to meet with people, but I’m not sure what they want to hear from me or what questions I should ask them. I want to find a new way to interact with my networking members.”

Can you relate to this? Is “knowing what to say” a recurring challenge for you?

If so, let me ask you some questions first: When does this problem show up for you? When you meet someone for the first time? Or does it happen with people you’ve known for a while?

I ask because I bet this problem doesn’t happen all the time. I’m pretty sure there are situations when you know exactly what to say.

If that is indeed true, then it’s a matter of figuring out what makes these particular situations easy. Then you can use this information to make other situations easier for yourself.

So here’s a quick exercise to help you figure out what may be going on for you — because the solution depends on the exact nature of the “problem”.

Start by paying closer attention to all your networking conversations.

1. When you find yourself at a loss for what to say, make a note of the situation.

  • Who is this person you’re talking with? How did you get started talking with this person?
  • What is your topic of conversation?
  • Is this person someone you just met? Or have you known this person for a while?
  • How much you know about this person? How did you find out what you know?
  • What do you not know yet, that you want to find out?
  • What are your assumptions about this person?
  • At what point in the conversation did you get stuck? What were your exact thoughts at that time?

2. Keep an eye out for conversations when you don’t get stuck, when you know exactly what to say. When you find yourself in the middle of such conversations, make a note of the situation using the same questions above.

3. Then, compare the two types of interactions. Make sure you have at least 3 good examples of conversations that flow well, and 3 of conversations where you get stuck, before you do this part. (The more “data” you have, the better.)

  • What difference, if any, do you see between the two?
  • What specifically allows one conversation to flow smoothly, where you know exactly what to say?
  • What specifically makes the other conversation awkward, where you feel unsure about what to say?
  • What did you learn from answering these questions? How will you use this information?

If you take the time to observe what’s going on, and answer these questions seriously, you should have useful information about the nature and the source of the problem.

Once you identify the exact problem, finding the solution becomes easier.

For instance, you might find you’re at a loss for what to say only with people you meet for the first time, and only when you don’t have a good sense of the other person in terms of their interests, challenges, needs, etc.

If so, your solution is to ask questions until you do have a good sense of whom you’re talking with — what they do, what they’re interested in, whether they’re looking for something in particular, and so on.

Once you have this information, you’ll naturally know what to say next.

Make sense?

By the way, this is an excerpt from the Effortless Networking book.


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Getting good returns from leads groups

Sunday, April 23rd, 2006

Many people invest a lot of time, money and energy participating in leads groups. And many are disappointed with the returns they get.

So let’s take a look at how to maximize your returns from participating in a leads group, if that’s what you want to or have to do.

Let’s start with some basic facts.

  1. The main (and sometimes only) purpose of a networking or leads group is to find and exchange leads for members within the group.

    So before joining a group, check your expectations: What, besides leads, are you expecting to get from this group?

    Then find out whether the group is structured to provide what you want. If not, it’s probably not a good group for you.

  2. Participating in groups like this requires time and commitment on your part.

    So again, before joining a group, check your commitment level: Are you willing and able to invest the time and energy necessary?

    If not, you probably want to find other ways to network to get the same results. (And yes, there is usually more than one way to get to any destination!).

Most books will tell you about the kinds of things you need to do, to get the most out of your leads group membership, such as:

  • Help other members in the group (i.e. you have to give to get)
  • Recognize leads for each other (so you can help others)
  • Express your gratitude (when others help you)
  • And so on.

If you want a checklist like this, here are a couple of books:

  • Rain Making goes into more detail about what to do and what not to do in such situations (look in the 2 chapters on “networking”).

  • Business By Referral has a section on “Getting to Know your Network” that provides a template on what kinds of information to find out about each person. And there’s another section on how to educate your network so they can provide the kinds of referrals you want.

However, you must have a foundation in place first in order to actually do the things on these checklists.

What do I mean by this? Well, you must:

  1. Know what kind of referrals you want, so you can ask for it.

    If you are unclear or ambiguous about this, there is no way you can possibly explain to others what you want!

    So whether you’re doing a 2 minute presentation to the group, or having a private conversation with one or more members, this basic foundation must be in place first.

  2. Understand clearly what kinds of referrals other members want.

    Again, if you’re not sure what’s a good lead for a member, how can you possibly recognize or forward any leads to them?

    Similarly, this kind of understanding may help you realize that while you may be fully committed to to generating leads for others, you may not be in a position to find the kinds of leads the members are looking for.

    This is useful to decide whether or not you should continue participating in that particular group.

Having this kind of “foundation” will help you be a valuable member of the group, and get the best return on the time, money and energy you invest in the group.

So focus your time and energy on building this foundation first.

Clarify for yourself what you want. Learn how to “extract” from others what they want (since they may or may not be clear about this themselves!).

Learn how to identify when you are truly unable to help other members. Use all this to build your trust and credibility within the group.

For more on how to build this kind of foundation for yourself, check out the comprehensive Effortless Networking program.

Till next week,
– Sri

Posted in Getting Results, Improving Effectiveness, Networking Conversations | No Comments »

Creating a system to thank your network consistenly

Sunday, April 16th, 2006

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how best to thank people who refer business to you.

In another article, I suggested a book that provides an example of a system to thank people consistently. (The chapter on Principle #4 is where you’ll find details on this.)

So this week, let’s step through how you can create a system that allows you to thank people promptly, consistently and appropriately.

Basically, there are 2 steps.

1. Find out what people value and appreciate, and how they’d like to be thanked. If you know someone well, you probably know this information already. If not, you can find this out in a variety of ways. You can ask their friends and associates, if you know who they are. You can ask them directly.

If you want to ask people directly, and cannot do so in person, do a survey.

  • “Survey Monkey” is an online tool that I use to poll people (in fact, I used it a couple of weeks ago to get your opinion on the format of these articles). The basic service is free, their paid option is very affordable, and I’ve found it very easy to use.

2. Use the information you gather from your “research” above, about what people want, to create a “thank you” program that fits your budget, style and preference.

Here are some ideas, tools and resources to help you design a system to thank people in a way they will appreciate it most.

For instance, if you find that a lot of people would like a financial reward, consider creating an affiliate program for your product or service. (If you’re not familiar with affiliate programs, it’s basically an arrangement where you a fee or commission to people who make a sale on your behalf).

If this is of interest to you, here are a couple of resources:

  • ClickBank
    If you have a digital product (e.g. eBooks, eCourses, etc.) you can use ClickBank to create and manage your affiliate program. They handle everything for you, and the setup is very easy. This is the system I use to manage my affiliate program.

  • Your Own Affiliate Program
    If you want a setup your own affiliate program (vs. using a third-party like ClickBank), or if you have physical products for which you want to offer an affiliate program, try this product from Paul Galloway. I haven’t used this particular product myself, but I have used Paul’s other products. And I’ve had very good experience with those. Also, the support he provides is EXCELLENT.

If you find that many people just want to know that what they’ve done for you has been useful, have a stack of “thank you” cards at hand, so you can send those out promptly.

  • For a personal touch, consider having custom-designed cards printed (vs. sending generic, store bought cards). An inexpensive vendor from whom you can order these is VistaPrint.

  • Depending on the person, you might also enclose a gift certificate in these “thank you” cards, as a little treat. For instance, I might include a gift card to Starbucks. This allows me to treat the person to a little something without being there myself. Here’s where knowing what the person appreciates is useful — so your gift card is for something that you know they’ll use and enjoy.

Enough ideas for today?

Well, till next week then…
– Sri

Posted in Improving Effectiveness, Reciprocating | 1 Comment »

Getting people to follow up with you

Sunday, April 9th, 2006

Do you have trouble following up with people you meet? Or getting people to follow up with you?

You’re not alone. This seems to be a common challenge.

This usually happens when the proper foundation hasn’t been laid.

What do I mean by this?

Well, when you meet someone for the first time, how do you know this is a person you want to follow up with?

In other words, what makes you want to follow up with this person? What kind of conversation would you have, if you were able to follow up?

And if you’re clear about why you want to have a follow up conversation with them later, how clear are they?

Do they know and understand why you’re interested in talking with them further? And if so, is there similar interest on their side?

If this kind of groundwork hasn’t been laid during your initial conversation, following up can be (and usually is) a challenge.

So here’s how you lay the foundation:

  1. When you meet someone and you realize that you want to have at least one more conversation with them, tell them this. Tell them why you want to talk with them further, but don’t go into too much detail — just provide the “headline”.

  2. Then check to see if they share your interest about talking further.

  3. If yes, arrange then and there when and how you will reconnect with each other. If there is no interest, you can decide whether to let it go, or try to get them interested in some other way.

    Without interest from the other person during the initial conversation, follow up is nearly impossible.

If you go through this sequence during your initial conversation, you’ll have what you need to follow up.

And neither of you should be hesitant or reluctant to follow up, because you both already agreed to it.

Most business networking books and seminars seem to assume you know about and use these fundamentals principles when you network for business purposes, since they rarely discuss how to build this kind of foundation upon which you can “layer” different techniques.

To evaluate or strengthen your foundation, click here.

Posted in Getting Results, Networking Conversations | No Comments »

A good starting point for best results

Sunday, April 2nd, 2006

“Where to start?” is a question that comes up often.

Usually, this is a question someone asks when he or she is just getting started in a new business or job, or simply starting to seriously network for business purposes.

However, it can also occur to someone who is comfortable networking and has been doing so for a while. And this typically happens when there’s a change of some sort which leads the person to feel somewhat unfocused about what they want or how to find whatever it is that they want.

If you can relate to either of these scenarios, the best place to start is always with yourself.

What do you want?

Sounds simple, but isn’t always an easy question to answer.

However, when you do answer the question, “where to start” becomes very clear.

So here are 4 steps to help identify what exactly you want, so you know where to start:

  1. What is the result or outcome you want to see from your networking efforts and activities?

  2. What is the problem or challenge you’re currently facing, that’s preventing you from getting the results you want? What do you think is causing this problem in the first place? Be as specific as possible.

  3. If you could find an “ideal” solution or resolution to this problem or challenge, what would that be? And what would an “acceptable” solution or resolution look like? Again, describe this in as much detail as possible.

  4. Whom do you know, who can help you with find this solution or resolve this problem, as you have described it above? If you don’t know anyone, whom do you know who could introduce you to people who can help you with this issue?

Going through these 4 steps will help you get clearer about what you want and what would help.

Once you know what you want, you can focus your actions towards getting it: such as, go to events that will help you meet the people you want to, talk to and ask people for what you want and need, etc.

For more details on this concept, check out the Effortless Networking program.

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