Conversations - the heart of networking
Conversation is at the heart of all networking activity.
How confident and comfortable are you, engaging people in dialogue?
We’ve had many new subscribers over the past month, and the question about how to initiate and engage in conversation has come up several times. In fact, over the past year, this has been one of the most popular questions!
Here are some of the ways it shows up:
- How to open the conversation
- How to break the ice
- Knowing what to say
- How to cut into a conversation
- How to find out what people want to hear from me or what questions I should ask them
- Getting to know people
- Finding the confidence to initiate a conversation
And so on…
Sound familiar?
Since it seems to be a common concern and question for many people, I’ve been wondering how to answer it for all the new subscribers, without being redundunt for all the others who may have read my past articles on this topic already.
Well, here’s what I’ve come up with — a short but powerful exercise for those who are really serious about tackling this question.
This exercise may seem easy or even superficial, but it’s not. The questions I’m asking here are not trivial. In other words, the more thought and effort you put into doing this exercise, the more you will get out of it. So here it is:
PART 1: Data Gathering
For the next 7 days, keep an eye out for the following situations each day:
- When during the day did you initiate a conversation with a “stranger” (i.e. someone you didn’t know)?
- What was the situation or context? For instance, were you in the grocery store, the train station, an airplane, etc.?
- What led you to initiate the conversation? For instance, did you need information (e.g. directions), were you curious about something, did you have information you wanted to offer the other person, etc.?
- How did this feel conversation for you? (E.g. comfortable, awkward, neutral, etc.) Why is this?
Jot down what you notice at the end of each day, so you can remember it.
PART 2A: Analysis
At the end of the week, look through your notes:
- What patterns do you notice about when and how you initiate conversations?
- What allows you to initiate conversations?
- What specifically makes you to feel comfortable or uncomfortable in such conversations?
- How are these situations similar or different from business networking conversations?
PART 2B: Action Plan
- What did you learn about yourself and how you engage in conversations with “strangers”, from doing this exercise?
- How will you use this information in the context of business networking?
As I said, it can be a very powerful tool for you, if you do actually do this exercise.
I realize that not everyone processes information the same way. Some people prefer to work independently; others find it more useful to learn by talking and processing information with one or more people.
You know yourself best. If you’re someone who prefers to process information with others, here are four options for you:
1. You can do this exercise, review your findings, and/or brainstorm possible courses of action with a trusted friend or colleague.
2. You can schedule a 60-minute private mentoring session with me, if you want professional feedback and guidance with analyzing your findings and creating a manageable action plan for you. For details, click here.
3. You can register for a 6-part group program on the Mastering the Fine Art of Conversations, if you like working with small groups of people who are focused on the same issue as you. For details about this program, click here.
4. You can sign up for a comprehensive coaching program with me, if you want to do, well, comprehensive work in this area. I have space for 2 new clients in February. For details about this service, click here.
I hope this wide range of choices help you find the best fit for you!
Till next week,
– Sri
