Effortless Networking

A question that surfaces often is “What to give in return”? In other words, “what is the best way to support the people in your network?” And I’ll add to that, “while also supporting yourself”.

Let’s start with the known information.

Here are some common tips and suggestions you may have already heard of:

• Arrive early, stay late, and get involved (at a networking event)
• Post information about the people in your network on your website or in your newsletter
• Distribute their information (to appropriate and interested people)
• Invite them to speak at an organization in which you are involved
• Do joint promotional projects with them
• Nominate them for recognition and awards
• Invite them to attend events with you

I think it’s fairly clear how doing any of his helps the people for whom you do it.

But, how does doing all this support you and *your* business?

Well, you *automatically* get in return

• Information
• A support team
• Advice, new ideas and more potential solutions
• Connections
• Strategic alliances
• Access to resources

As I said at the beginning, you’ve probably heard about some or all of these before.

So the question is: Are you doing any or all of these?

If not, here are some questions and possibilities to consider:

• Do you know which of these (if any) would be useful for the people in your network?
• If yes, what prevents you from doing these? What are your thoughts, beliefs and assumptions around doing these things?
• If you don’t know what would be useful for people in your network, is this something you want to find out? What ideas do you have about how you can find out?

Perhaps you *are* doing some or all of these things already but not really seeing any of the benefits. Or perhaps you used to and stopped because you felt like you’re not getting anything of the returns.

Well then, here are some different questions and possibilities to consider:

• Do you know what *you* want in return? In other words, how do you want to be “supported”?
• What specifically would be useful for you? Why?
• Do (or did) you ask for it?

Spend some time seriously contemplating these questions. See what information they reveal. No matter what it is, I can guarantee that it will be useful information that you can use to your advantage.

For structured guidance on how to apply these concepts to your particular situation, and *integrate* them into your normal way of doing business, check out the Effortless Networking home-study program.

Depending on where you’re stuck, you may find the modules on “Support your networking without over committing yourself” and/or “Overcome your inhibitions about networking” particularly useful.

Also, I’m curious to hear your thoughts on this topic. So consider posting a comment below and sharing your thoughts and experience.

Till next week,
– Sri

How can you ask for referrals, in a way that gets you (better) results?

If you’ve gone through my “3 Secrets for Effective Networking” program or have attended this workshop, you know about the 5 elements to keep in mind when asking anyone for anything.

One of these elements is making sure that the person you’re asking, is willing and able to do what you want. And this is one of the things most people often overlook, when asking for referrals.

Think about the last time you asked someone for a referral.

• Did you check first to see if he or she was willing and able to give you the kind of referral(s) you wanted?
• Either way, did you get what you wanted? Why or why not?

Well, here’s an example of how you can apply the concept of verifying someone is willing and able to do what you want, when asking for a referral.

Let’s say you have a “lead” that you think is a good prospect for you.

This “lead” could be a person or an organization. And since it’s a “lead”, it means that you probably don’t know each other. So any conversation you have with them would have to start with a cold call.

(For the difference between leads and referrals, see my article on this topic here.)

Now, let’s also say that you think one of your long-time customers may know this lead. So you approach this long-time customer for help. (By the way, this is another good example of networking — leveraging existing relationships.)

Ideally, you want this customer to refer you to the “lead”, so you can avoid a cold call. But you start with a small, manageable request: you simply ask whether your customer knows the lead.

If yes, you make another small request: would your customer be willing to share some information about this lead based on their working relationship, so you can decide whether this lead is a good fit for your products/services.

Through these incremental questions and conversation, you gradually work your way up to your final question: would your customer be willing to introduce you to this lead? And when doing so, also explain to the lead why he or she was making the introduction?

At this stage, if your customer agrees, you’ve accomplished several things:

• you’ve converted a “lead” into a “referral”,
• you’ve avoided a cold call, and
• you’ve greatly increased your chances of actually talking with this referral.

You may have also acquired useful information from your customer about this prospect, which you can use to your advantage during your conversation with the prospect.

If you notice, throughout this example, you asked for very specific things, and each time you checked in to make sure the person was in a position to give you those specific things. And in the end, these small, incremental requests added up to getting you exactly what you wanted.

This is just one particular example. However, you can probably see that the same principle can be easily applied to any conversation or situation.

So, what are your thoughts and immediate reactions to all this? Share your comments below!

Till next week,
– Sri

Alice Olivier, of Aleeco’s House of Flowers, Plants and Fine Things landed herself an open-ended, ongoing order for her business through some pretty “effortless networking”!

Here’s her networking success story:

“I met a lady at church on Christmas Eve, and we had a friendly chat. I wasn’t soliciting business. However, I gave her my business card so that we could get together in the future. A couple of weeks ago, her husband, who is the minister of this church called and asked me to supply his church with plants and flowers on a ongoing basis. Needless to say, I was thrilled!”

So what did Alice do that was different from her usual networking approach?

Well, according to Alice, previously she had always been afraid to talk about her business freely, and it showed. People would tell her that she showed no emotion.

On that particular day, Alice was talking about her business to simply connect with another person.

She had met the minister’s wife at a previous engagement at their home. Alice had noticed then that the woman had been clearly uncomfortable in her own home with a lot of people she did not know, and had reached out to her. They discovered they were both from the same area of the country, which got their conversation going.

So on Christmas Eve, Alice chatted with the minister’s wife simply to connect with her. She was relaxed, and excited to share her interest and enthusiasm about what she did. As Alice mentioned, she was not looking for business.

What allowed Alice change her approach?

Well, Alice has attended one of my workshops, and also reads my weekly Effortless Networking articles. From these, she realized that the worst thing she could do was not believe in her business and herself.

This realization allowed her to express and share her enthusiasm and passion for her work, freely and naturally, when she was talking with the minister’s wife about her business.

And the minister’s wife probably picked up on this right away!

So when the minister heard about Alice’s business from his wife, he too probably got the same sense of passion, care and enthusiasm that is behind Alice’s business.

Alice believes that this, along with her connection to his wife, got her this ongoing order from his church. (And I think she’s absolutely correct!)

Here’s what Alice’s business is all about:

Aleeco’s House of Flowers, Plants and Fine Things provides floral designs, living plants and decorative designer products for the enrichment of personal, public and commercial environments.

Alice incorporates Eastern and Western design, and mixes live flowers with plants. As you’ve probably guessed by now, she is very particular about her product. And she pays attention to her customers’ preferences and abides by their decisions.

So her most satisfied customers are individuals or organizations who are looking for selections that are different from the
mainstream.

Through her affiliation with 1-800-flowers, Alice is able to offer her products globally. Although, most of her current business comes from the San Francisco Bay Area where her business is based.

If you’re interested in seeing a sample of Alice’s work, or want to contact her, please visit her website at http://www.aleeco.com.

Congratulations Alice! And thanks for sharing your experience of how you so *effortlessly* capitalized on an “everyday” networking opportunity.

Till next week,
– Sri

Conversation is at the heart of all networking activity.

How confident and comfortable are you, engaging people in dialogue?

We’ve had many new subscribers over the past month, and the question about how to initiate and engage in conversation has come up several times. In fact, over the past year, this has been one of the most popular questions!

Here are some of the ways it shows up:

• How to open the conversation
• How to break the ice
• Knowing what to say
• How to cut into a conversation
• How to find out what people want to hear from me or what questions I should ask them
• Getting to know people
• Finding the confidence to initiate a conversation

And so on…

Sound familiar?

Since it seems to be a common concern and question for many people, I’ve been wondering how to answer it for all the new subscribers, without being redundunt for all the others who may have read my past articles on this topic already.

Well, here’s what I’ve come up with — a short but powerful exercise for those who are really serious about tackling this question.

This exercise may seem easy or even superficial, but it’s not. The questions I’m asking here are not trivial. In other words, the more thought and effort you put into doing this exercise, the more you will get out of it. So here it is:

PART 1: Data Gathering

For the next 7 days, keep an eye out for the following situations each day:

• When during the day did you initiate a conversation with a “stranger” (i.e. someone you didn’t know)?
• What was the situation or context? For instance, were you in the grocery store, the train station, an airplane, etc.?
• What led you to initiate the conversation? For instance, did you need information (e.g. directions), were you curious about something, did you have information you wanted to offer the other person, etc.?
• How did this feel conversation for you? (E.g. comfortable, awkward, neutral, etc.) Why is this?

Jot down what you notice at the end of each day, so you can remember it.

PART 2A: Analysis

At the end of the week, look through your notes:

• What patterns do you notice about when and how you initiate conversations?
• What allows you to initiate conversations?
• What specifically makes you to feel comfortable or uncomfortable in such conversations?
• How are these situations similar or different from business networking conversations?

PART 2B: Action Plan

• What did you learn about yourself and how you engage in conversations with “strangers”, from doing this exercise?
• How will you use this information in the context of business networking?

As I said, it can be a very powerful tool for you, if you do actually do this exercise.

I realize that not everyone processes information the same way. Some people prefer to work independently; others find it more useful to learn by talking and processing information with one or more people.

You know yourself best. If you’re someone who prefers to process information with others, here are four options for you:

1. You can do this exercise, review your findings, and/or brainstorm possible courses of action with a trusted friend or colleague.

2. You can schedule a 60-minute private mentoring session with me, if you want professional feedback and guidance with analyzing your findings and creating a manageable action plan for you. For details, click here.

3. You can register for a 6-part group program on the Mastering the Fine Art of Conversations, if you like working with small groups of people who are focused on the same issue as you. For details about this program, click here.

4. You can sign up for a comprehensive coaching program with me, if you want to do, well, comprehensive work in this area. I have space for 2 new clients in February. For details about this service, click here.

I hope this wide range of choices help you find the best fit for you!

Till next week,
– Sri