How to increase your confidence level
I got an email from a subscriber just the other day, saying that reading my regular articles, he realized that he instinctively knew how to network.
Well, of course — that’s absolutely true!
Networking is not anything magical or mysterious. “Networking” is something we all do everyday without thinking about it twice. And what I hope I do for you in each of my articles, CDs and workshops is draw your attention to this very fact.
My other goal is help you *refine* what you already do naturally, so you can focus your efforts and get better results.
So on that note, let’s talk about increasing your confidence level when it comes to networking.
Let me start by asking you this:
- Do you ever lose your confidence or feel insecure when you’re out networking?
- If so, do you know what *specifically* triggers these feelings?
Your answer to this question will help you avoid, eliminate or otherwise address the true obstacle — and therefore, clear the way for you to feel more confident in any situation, networking or otherwise.
For instance, early in my career, I had no confidence when it came to business networking.
I used to feel uncomfortable whenever I had to attend a networking meeting or event, because I assumed that I had to behave in a particular way. For instance, I assumed that I had to “work the room”, that I had to have an elevator speech and use it to introduce myself to everyone I met, and so on.
Just the thought of doing these things made me anxious — what if I forgot the words of my elevator speech, or stumbled over my words? What if I couldn’t wedge my way into a conversation with a group of people at a business mixer?
Only when I questioned these assumptions and checked the validity of them, was I able to get rid of my anxiety and nervousness, and become really confident about business networking.
One of the things I realized was that networking is not about making elevator speeches or working the room. Those are *techniques* one can use, but are not *required* for networking.
Networking is about finding and meeting people you want to meet, because of an interest that you have. For instance, you may be interested in finding a new job, or generating new leads or prospects, or finding resources or information for a new project. And you want to find people who can help you with these.
So I took a step back and considered how I might go about finding people who could help me with stuff like this, in a way that did not make me feel uncomfortable.
Once I did, it became my new way of networking.
I felt confident because it fit my personality. I felt comfortable approaching and networking with people (even strangers), AND I got the results I wanted!
Well, here’s what you can do to increase your confidence level:
- Pay attention to those situations (networking related or not) when you feel confident. What specifically makes you feel this way?
- Also pay attention to those situations (networking related or not) when you DON’T feel confident. What specifically makes you lose your confidence?
- What’s the difference between the two types of situations? What are your assumptions in each case? Are they valid? How can you tell?
Your answers to these questions will reveal to you how you can overcome your inhibitions and increase your confidence.
By the way, step-by-step instructions on how to apply this concept is covered in “Overcome your Inhibitions about Networking” (module 2 in the Effortless Networking home-study program).
Till next time,
– Sri
